Ranking America’s Worst Sports Fans

Sports has the unique ability to unite reprehensible members of our society. In honor of this fact, here are the top five worst sports fan bases in America.

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5: Red Sox Fans Who Hate The Yankees Sox fans have been driven permanently insane by their eight decade run of failure, which they continue to blame on the Ruth trade to the hated Yankees. Perhaps for this reason, Sox fans treat visiting Yankee fans with a contempt that borders on criminal. Fun Fact: Despite the hallowed reputation, Fenway Park is old and dirty and you might find yourself sitting behind a cement column.  

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4. Yankee Fans Who Ignore Their Payroll Advantage New York fans seem to think it’s fair that Yankee players have salaries that exceed total salaries of other teams. As if staging baseball in a post-apocalyptic area of the Bronx isn’t bad enough, Yankee fans are also notoriously unwelcoming to visiting fans. Mitigating Factor: Yankee suckage over the last ten years, despite the bloated payroll, or perhaps because of it.

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3. The City of Philadelphia Is it possible for fans from so many disparate socio-economic backgrounds to be so loathsome? Fliers, Eagles, Phillies, ‘Nova, Temple, even Penn fans are all equally disreputable. We Are The Champions 2.0: Eagle fans recently followed up their infamous cheering as Cowboy receiver Michael Irvin lay temporarily paralyzed on the field by cheering as Giant receiver Victor Cruz lay injured on the field.

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2. University of Alabama Fans A lack of professional sports teams forces normally distracted mouth-breathers to root for the Crimson Tide. Poster Child: ‘Bama fan Harvey Updyke is possibly the most reviled college football fan of all time. Updike poisoned and killed beloved trees on rival Auburn University campus. After he accidentally turned himself in, Updyke was sentenced pay $800,000 in restitution. Due to lack of income, Updyke is only required to pay $500 a month. His lifetime ban from attending games doesn’t seem to faze him, as he claims he would gladly do it again. Just Wow: Some ‘Bama fans have openly supported Updyke’s actions. 

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1. Penn State fans Who Continue To Worship Joe Paterno Incomprehensibly blind to Joe Pa’s admitted culpability in the Sandusky child-rape affair, these fans seem to exist in a universe all of their ownMoment of Glory: Penn State fans recently erected a billboard tribute to the 409 Paterno wins vacated by the NCAA Rules Infractions committee.